![]() ![]() “What would we be doing if we were together right now?”Īnd its hornier cousin: “What would you be doing to me if we were together right now?” “What are we going to do once we get out of here?” A sexy but flexible opener leaves plenty of potential for fantasy, while also serving to propel the conversation forward. It’s also easy to go from here: once they answer you can either offer some recommendations of your own, or move into more interesting territory à la: We should make Bolognese together some time, or, oh my God, you haven’t seen Return of the King ? We have to watch it together.Īsk a horny question. This is an especially good approach if they have an area of interest which they like to talk about, like literature or wine or anime. Otherwise, try soliciting a recommendation, something that also indicates you also trust this person’s opinion. You can start with a courteous how are things? how are you?, but that’s always a bit boring, and can send the person into a panic if things are, in fact, not good. Questions show that you’re interested in what this person has to say and that makes them feel good. Asking relevant questions is conversation 101. Be sure that the person wants to receive it though an unsolicited nude can be a bad experience.Īsk a genuine question. That said, there’s merit in sending a photo that you simply let speak for itself. Sending it with a playful note - a miss you, miss me?, see you later, something in that vein - will make the message feel more intentional, and will help you feel more comfortable sending it in the first place. We’re dealing with the art of language here, but sending a photo - a nude, or a nice selfie - isn’t breaking the rules, especially if you’re comfortable with the person or want to make a strong impression. Speaking of photos, don’t be afraid to open with one. I won’t get into details, but this strategy once got me a DM back from the rapper YG, a proud moment in my time as an erstwhile flirt. The other benefit of Instagram is that if you do end up sending photos, the camera and filters are more flattering on Insta than your iPhone’s. Keep in mind that flirtation is not a goal-oriented activity, this makes Instagram - a time-sucking app, with its memes and silly filters and vacation pictures - a sort of perfect place to flirt. Another option is responding to an Instagram story - it’s an easy starter and the conversation can live on DM, which is a less formal space than your iMessage, and hitting a casual note is important to crafting the free and easy tone that is the basis of a flirtation. It makes the receiver feel special, and making people feel special is a key tenant of a good flirt. The point is to let the person know you’re thinking of them, and value them enough to write a warm message that is specifically for them. Or, if you have history with the person, you can hit them with a “remember this?” and send a photo of something you did or saw together, or an inside joke. Instead, open with something thoughtful or playful, try a “this reminded me of you” and send a song or a photo. Seeing how the other person is coping is a thoughtful way of starting a conversation, but opening with pandemic-speak really doesn’t really set the correct vibe for what is meant to be a light, pleasant, or sexy exchange. ![]() In these trying times, it may be your instinct to hide your frisky intentions behind the veneer of concerned check-in. These are lazy and careless initiators: They leave the onus of a conversational response on your partner, which they have every right not to give. ![]() Try it out with your crush or as a titillating pregame to your Zoom date, or test it out with your partner as they sweat over their sourdough starter in the next room.ĭon’t be lazy. Unless you want to fill your partner with dread, a lone “hey” or “hi” are undesirable openers likewise “what’s up” and “you up?” are even less appetizing. With that in mind, we’ve curated some advice on flirty texting. But, really, flirting is just a conversation - a warm, funny, and ostensibly enjoyable one. The truth is that both the fun and the stress of texting (and sexting) come from the same thing: It’s uncertainty, the thrill of not quite knowing how seriously to take your flirting partner, the fun of implying “maybe” or “I might” without making promises. But even for those of us who have been doing this since our early teens, texting can still feel like a fickle mating dance, one where a wrongly interpreted emoji can be a source of grief and confusion. For many who came of age at the dawn of instant messaging, text-based flirting might come more naturally than face-to-face conversation.
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